Villagers With Pitchforks

The flaming torches were delayed in transit, sorry.

Thursday, June 10, 2004

The Starship Mindf*ck - Or is it Quantum Trek?

So the Enterprise - this is the one with the beagle - limps back to Earth after saving not only the planet, but much of the Galaxy (which is overkill, but what the heck). Don't tell me you didn't expect they'd win. They did, but Archer is nowhere to be seen. He seems to have gone up with the final cataclysmic explosion.

The beagle hasn't figured this out yet.

They get to Earth, badly in need of some body and fender work. Nobody on Earth is answering the phone. This is odd.

A shuttle is sent to San Francisco. Still nobody's answering the radio. Air traffic control is missing. The guys on the shuttle don't notice and go on talking about their upcoming shore leave. Suddenly the shuttle is attacked by WWII fighter planes. I didn't catch the markings on the planes.

Cut to: A Nazi German field hospital. Overflowing with wounded, yet the Nazi flag is properly flown. An officer enters, talks to the head medic about this guy - badly burned - who was brought in last night. It is, of course, Archer. A second Nazi appears. He's a blue alien in a Nazi uniform. He may or may not recognize Archer's uniform, which is in pretty good shape considering the explosion and all.

So: the crew doesn't have a clue what's up: Time warp? Alternate history?

And Archer's out cold at an Undisclosed Location. How did he get there? Did he Leap or what?

And the crew thinks Archer is dead.

And the beagle needs to go walkies.

And the show's moving to Friday next season.

Yes, Enterprise is bad SF. Yes, they should have all died heroically while saving the Earth. But this show might well be crossing the "so bad it's good" line.

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