Happy Voice of Command Day

Abi Sutherland, in Making Light:

Today is Mother’s Day. Due to the complex interaction of the sun, the moon, and history, it also happens to be Pentecost. This conjunction can only happen when Easter is as early as possible in the calendar.

It is proposed, therefore, that the common theme of these two holidays be combined and generalized, so that those who do not celebrate one or both of them have some reason to make whoopie today.

Happy Voice of Command Day, in honor of all of those people in our lives who were irrefutably right. Parents, teachers, counsellors and eminences, priests and priestesses, even good books whose words vibrated our very breastbones and set us on the path of whatever righteousness was needed at the time.

You will celebrate it.

Read the whole thing. Don't forget the comments.

Health For Geeks

Exercise is really boring, so a great many of us don't do it. I spent a year under the tutelage of a personal trainer, so I know how to lift weights, but I almost never do that. It's boring, and the fact that I gained muscle tone and almost cured my blood sugar issues wasn't the motivation it should have been. The only thing that kept me going to the trainer was the one-year contract I signed, and the unwillingness to waste the money. At the end of the contract, I needed a down payment for a new car, and that was the end of that training - and the beginning of my sliding back downhill, gaining flab and losing energy.

So: Fundamental problem: Exercise and diet for its own sake is boring as hell. We geeks live in our minds and don't deal with boredom very well at all. I've had to come up with workarounds to keep me healthy and not so bored.

Here are my personal rules:

• This is about being healthy, not being thin
  I'm not here to lecture you about your body size, your "image", your looks. You can look however you want to.


• Pick the simplest-to-manage diet eating plan possible
  This might take you a few tries, but it is vital. In my case, South Beach is fairly easy to internalize. Others I know have done wonders on Weight Watchers.
  Here are general guidelines that have worked for me:
  • High-fructose corn syrup is your enemy! Avoid it.
    You're going to be reading ingredient lists; so remember one thing: Avoid high-fructose corn syrup. Cane sugar is fine; beet sugar is OK. This alone will help you feel better and be a little trimmer.
    Story: Because I avoid it, I can feel the effects of high-fructose corn syrup (specific aches and pains) on those few occasions when I have some - sometimes the only thing around to help me out of a blood sugar crash is a Coke or Pepsi, and anyway I still like a Pepsi once a month or so. I recently travelled to New Zealand. In New Zealand the soda pop is made in Australia using cane sugar. Three weeks there, drinking regular soda and walking up and down hills such as I haven't encountered since my youth in Pittsburgh, and I had none of the side effects. Until the first Coke I had upon my return, between flights in San Francisco Airport. This one was semi-medicinal, since falling asleep in the airport would have caused missed connections and general badness. Before the next plane, I had some achy joints.


• Pick the simplest exercise plan possible.
  I like walking, so my plan is based on taking 10,000 steps a day, which for me is about 5 miles.


• Get and use a pedometer.
  All a pedometer does is count steps. I have a little electronic one that has a clock built in, and a seven day memory. I set it up, put it in my pocket and forget it. It resets to 0 at midnight.
  • Record your steps in a spreadsheet daily, and set it up to graph. Use the upward curve to motivate you.
  • Most modern pedometers can let you input your average step length, so you'll see your miles or km walked as well.


• Have a support group.
  You don't have to go to meetings - I'm on a LiveJournal group that offers mutual support and ideas.


• Goals are good
  I'm a Lord Of The Rings fan. There's a website out there called Walking to Rivendell. You keep a running total of your miles walked, put the mileage into the form on the website, and it tells you where you are on the walk from Hobbiton to Rivendell


• Use public transit whenever possible.
  It'll add steps.


• No second helpings
  I eat at a very good salad bar chain (Sweet Tomatoes/Souplantation) which has, among the healthy salads and soups, a good-sized bakery section full of pizza focaccia and other irresistables. Fortunately, the plates for the bad stuff are small, thus limiting my intake. So: no second helpings for me, except for iced tea with sweet and low.


• Walk the dog.
  Don't have a dog? Walk the neighbor's dog. We babysit a greyhound who loves to go to the park. That's a half-mile round trip right there.


• Park way across the lot
  Even here in Phoenix in the summer, I'll park out away from the door. There are exceptions, of course: I may be picking up something heavy or awkward, and in summer in Phoenix, I always park in the shadiest spot I can find. In general: park across the lot. Easier to get a space, and a few more steps on the pedometer.


• Find something fun where exercise is incidental.
  I have a couple:
  • The last year or so, it's been archery. After every round, it's a minimum of forty yards of walking. This can be much more if I miss the target. Pulling the bow is a good strength workout, too, even a 25 pound bow.
  
  
  • I also go to the Renaissance Festival as much as I can. The Festival here in Arizona has a 30-acre site. Lots of walking.
  
  
  • I don't play video games, but I'm told the Nintendo Wii has games that can give you a bit of a workout.
  
  
  • Last time I went to San Francisco, I strolled from Fisherman's Wharf over to Lucasfilm's new home, looking for the Yoda statue.
  
  
  • My wife has arthritis and loves to garden. I'm not so much of a gardener, but I help out.
  
  

Overheard

...in the next aisle at the grocery.
Aunt to kids:

"What kind of kids are you, ya don't like Twinkies?"
Kids laugh, present alternatives.

These are healthy kids, lady.

Hey, look! It's Fafnir! Where ya been?

"The triumphant cry of revolution will call out through the streets: Vive Fáfnir! Vive Gibléts!" says Giblets.

Fafblog is back from wherever. This is a good thing. Daily dose of good. The best blog. A sample:

Monday I run into my arch-nemesis at the donut shop. It's been so long! "How ya been!" I go. He's got a wife an kids an stuff now an he's workin on his doctorate an he works for a company that makes jellybeans! "That's so cool, I love jellybeans, how do you make em!" says me. We go on a tour of a jellybean factory an I get to see everything, it is so cool! We talk for hours. It's not till I get home that I remember the revenge. Oooh darn you arch-nemesis! I'll get you yet!

That whole post

Quote

Good thing I had soup and salad today, I guess:

A thought struck me as I left [McDonald's] - the bags in which you are given food at McDonald's are almost identical in texture, shape and size with the vomit bags tucked in the seat pockets of aircraft.

- Michael Palin, 8 December 1978, from his Diaries 1969-1979 - The Python Years

Operation SANTA

Every year on C-Day, mysterious agents from the North begin a massive infiltration effort. Nobody seems to mind.

From command and control at the North Pole to secret manufacturing facilities in China and Eastern Europe, from the Pacific shipping lanes to the deployment of domestic-access operatives, Santa owns the silent night. With NSA surveillance tech, they see you when you're sleeping, and they know when you're awake. They know when you've been bad or good — thanks to algorithms that make Google look like Pong. You better not shout. You better not cry. Operation Santa is coming to town.

Or so says the December 2007 Wired magazine. Mouse over the graphic for the details. And listen to this NPR interview.

You better not shout. You better not cry. Operation Santa is coming to town.

Vote Early And Often

Ahem.

Today's link is going to help you make your American Presidential election plans, and possibly your post-election plans as well.

Electoral-Vote.com uses selected polling data to predict the winners in the American Presidential and Senate races.

It's been an accurate predictor in the last several elections. It uses polls which are as neutral as possible, mainly at the state level - remember, here in these enlightened United States, we don't vote directly for President, we vote for electors at the state level - to call Senate races and the Electoral College. You want to see how the numbers are derived? It's on the website. Want to see the raw data? On the website. Want to learn something about how polls are conducted? It's there, too.

On the left side of this site, under the Earth Destruction meter, you can now see icons which reflect the current predictions. (Note: They are still gearing up for '08 - currently you're seeing the previous numbers)

Planning to run for the border if the wrong side wins? Here's the numbers.

Meanwhile, in the civilized lands to the North...

Whilst we await our turns on the No-Fly List and investigate bug-out options in case of continued fascism, the cool kids in Canada are flying their cameras to the edge of space.

Link via the ever-so-cool BoingBoing

Time Keeps On Slipping Slipping Slipping Into the Future

Say! It's mid-October already!

What a weird several weeks it's been: illness, sudden travel, more illness, lather, rinse, repeat.

Just to sort of try to explain my complete lack of posting.

So Let Me Get This Straight

For idiotic reasons - and sadly, I'm the idiot in question, and no it's not funny yet, but it will be one day - I now need a new passport.

To get the passport, I need a birth certificate. I keep a messy office; so I'll need to order a fresh copy, dammit. I'm trying to save a few bucks so I can afford stuff, like food and bus fare, whilst in New Zealand. The birth certificate will cost - what a coincidence - a few bucks. I could well end up on the New New Zealand Weight Loss Plan for American Tourists, but the scenery will be delightful: a rainier, windier version of certain scenic DVDs I own. With fewer fourteen-foot walking trees, I suppose.

To get the birth certificate, I need - wait for it - a government-issued photo ID. Say: a passport? But no, being an idiot, I now lack a passport. How about a driver's license? I still have that.

Once I have the birth certificate and the drivers' license - and some more money - and a couple expensive Polariods (better remember to shave first) I now get to make an appointment to go to a Government office and oh-so-politely present all of these documents (and the extra money) which, as far as I can determine, will prove exactly:

1. I look much better clean-shaven (my drivers' license photo is from back when I was a scruffy Ren Fair denizen)
2. At some point in time, I passed a drivers' test.
3. I can successfully order an expensive piece of paper from another state.
4. I am patient with overworked bureaucrats.

For doing all of this hoop-jumping, I will get an expensive little booklet which politely states in three languages - English, French and Spanish - that:

The Secretary of State of the United States of America hereby requests all whom it may concern to permit the citizen/national of the United States named herein to pass without delay or hindrance and in case of need to give all lawful aid and protection.

No, I didn't memorize that, though if I had, perhaps I could just go up to the official in Auckland, say "The Secretary of State of the United States of America hereby requests all whom it may concern to permit me, a citizen/national of the United States named herein to pass without delay or hindrance and in case of need to give all lawful aid and protection", and hold out my hand to get stamped, like I do when going back to the car at Ren Faire to get the stupid camera, or wait for AAA to come pop the lock - again. Nor did I read it off my wife's passport. She's much wiser than I and will not let me within a furlong of her passport. I looked it up on Wikipedia, which means the text I pasted into this screed could in fact be wrong. But I'll take my chance and move along.

Now, one of the strengths of our political system is that we respect the job, not the person who holds the job. Being as I am, non-Republican, it might give me pause if my passport read: "Condoleeza Rice hereby requests all whom it may concern to permit the citizen/national of the United States named herein to pass without delay or hindrance and in case of need to give all lawful aid and protection." Though I may not have minded if Madeline Albright made the request. (I must here note that Wikipedia is very careful to point out that the French and Spanish translations of the Polite Request seem to imply that Condoleeza Rice is in fact a man. Whatever.)

However: English, Spanish and French are passe. New Zealand passports say it in English and Maori. Maori's cool. In a fifteen hour flight, I could probably memorize "He tono tenei na te Hēkeretari Condoleeza Rice ki te hunga e tika ana kia kaua e akutotia, e whakakopekatia te tangata mau i te uruwhenua nei i ana haere, a, i te wa e hiahiatia ai me awhina, me manaaki." That would impress them in Auckland.

Or I could sleep.