Villagers With Pitchforks

The flaming torches were delayed in transit, sorry.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Aww is the widdle man scared of a few bumps?

Can somebody explain to me why the driver of a Cadillac Escalade, with almost double the ground clearance of my Honda Element, was so afraid to go over the speed bumps the other day?

This was in a shopping center parking lot. Now it's true that many shopping centers have bad speed bumps: speed bumps which would stop large tanks in their tracks until the brave men and women of the Corps of Engineers came forward and applied a pound of C-4 so the tanks and the convoy could get through and defeat the enemy. But this shopping center has reasonable speed bumps, which can be taken at 5-7 mph with only minor discomfort, even by my passengers with bad backs. The security golf-carts don't even slow down for these bumps.

This Cadillac Escalade was slowing to sub-walking speed, possibly even sub-crawling speed. As nobody was actually crawling around the parking lot this would be hard to judge, but slow pedestrians were passing this Escalade as it slooooowed dooooown to go ooooover the buuuuump.

I dunno. Those Cadillacs have a lot of electronics. Maybe the guy was testing his altimeter.


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