Headline of the Week

Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames

We don't make this stuff up, folks. We can't possibly even come close.

In Which Mr Connors Plays the Curmudgeon.

That I am wearing green today of all days means I need to do laundry.

I hardly drink at all and I don't really understand loud noisy drunken parties. Tried them, they're not for me. That's part of what makes me unique, and yes, I'm aware that it borders on Aspergers. So be it. I earn a good living and am content.

The only time I've been in a bar on St Paddy's day I was paid to be there as part of the band.

That we celebrate the Irish at all is to my way of thinking, a good thing. But I don't approve of the way we in America do it.

As I say to any who'll hear: With a name like Paddy O'Connor, I hardly have to wear green to prove I'm Irish, now do I?

Y'all have fun. I'll be over here in the corner.

Of Vital Importance to Western Civilization

Monty Python now have an on-line silly walks generator. Amuse your friends, abuse your corporate bandwidth, have fun.

Has Your Planet Been Destroyed?

And hard on the, er, hooves of that last, we have the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board.

The International Earth Destruction Advisory Board (IEDAB) is an independent scientific institution which monitors the current status of the Earth and the number of times it has been destroyed. In the event of the Earth being destroyed it will be the IEDAB's job to relay this information to people who need to know and provide advice on how to proceed.

It's great to know that somebody's on the job. Very complete. There are sections on how to destroy the Earth, fictional destruction of the Earth (which doesn't count), and my favorite section:

Why destroy the Earth?

If you've decided to have the Earth destroyed, then you clearly already have your motive and don't need my advice. But if, for whatever reason, you're seeking to get inside the mind of the planet-killer, then read on.

Why destroy the Earth? Why, you maniac, WHY?

1. Because it is there

A response first given by George Mallory after being relentlessly questioned as to why he desired to become the first man to climb to the highest point on Earth, the peak of Mount Everest. It did for him and it can do for you. Who needs a reason? The doing of the thing is its own reward.

2. To further science

You'll be employing the scientific principles of [whatever method you use] on a greater scale than ever before. You'll have recording devices observing the event from all angles and on all wavelengths. The telemetry taken from the destruction of the Earth will reveal more about the universe, and science, and the Earth itself than anybody can possibly imagine! Isn't that worth it?

3. Special effects no longer satisfy me

One can't argue with the fact that the total annihilation of an object of the Earth's size is going to be pretty spectacular however it happens. If you are the kind of person who likes explosions and implosions and other destructive events, then this is going to be the biggest you're likely to experience in a lifetime.

That's my favorite. And there's much, much more.

- via Making Light

Quote of the day, technical division

Robert Anderson:

To this end, I want to introduce the HyperText Snarkup Language (HTSL) which will initially be described as simply an extension of XHTML with a namespace. This will allow publishers to have full control over their snark.

Read the whole thing.

Damn Aliens!

We seem to have a serious problem. As the spouse of a Harmony Heifer, I'm somewhat alarmed.

Introducing the little lady

I just added my wife Chis Dickenson to the Village - she's the more talkative of the two of us. Should be interesting.